Yup, that is exactly what happens next. You wait. And you wonder, and you worry and you wait some more. Sometimes you decide to splurge some money on a phone call to the consulate or processing centre. This is a fun way to spend an hour or so. You get to listen to music sometimes or it can be that interesting short recorded message where you are told to hold on followed that peculiar flat silence when you are not sure whether you have been cut off, or whether you really are on hold and you dither about hanging up and trying again.

After about forty minutes the line either goes dead of on rare occasions you get to talk to human being. They are usually very pleasant and polite and can absolutely nothing for you. Do remember to make a note of the number that comes back on the acknowledgement form where they say you should be hearing from them in x weeks. You can quote this number to the nice person on the phone and they will look at the file on computer screen and tell you that everything is proceeding as normal and that you will hear in due course. Which is what you already knew - because the card said so - but it's sometimes nice to hear it again. And of course you have benefitted your local Long Distance Telephone company.

Sometimes they will tell you they have not yet had the medical results. This will worry you, and probably send your blood pressure shooting up. This is normal. You will think 'But I had the medical 3 months ago! I paid all that money! The doctor is supposed to send on his report immediately!' All of which is true. He sends it to Ottawa. Where it sits in a wire basket for a while to make sure it feels comfortable in its new home. Then someone decides that they can no longer see the clock on the wall that tells them when it is lunchtime because of the pile in the wire basket. So they think they had better file and/or deliver all those blasted parcels with peoples' medicals to the appropriate in-tray or file. Then the medical has another little rest after that journey and once again when the clock is obscured the medical person allocated in Ottawa will look at it. If they find anything troubling - maybe you have asthma and they wonder if it might not be asthma, it might TB or raging Beri-Beri. So they send out a form and tell you to go back to the doctor, spend some more money and get checked for the dreaded lurgy. Which then gets sent to Ottawa....etc. etc. and the new report eventually meets its cousin, the original report. Then they make a decision. Which they report to the processing centre. I am told this is done electronically. Judging by the amount of time it takes I suspect the wiring is old. Once again, filing, waiting, can't see the clock, look at the file, decision.

Apologies to people working in the system - I know you work hard and are (by the sound of it) understaffed. But this is written from our point of view - no offense is meant.

OK on to the final lap of the race.

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